Samsung truly upset me and I barely have words

I look to tech companies for learning.

I want to learn about something that will make my life better. And I want tech companies to have learned something about humanity.

It's always seemed a fair exchange. Too often, however, I'm frustrated by the vast chasms I see at product launch events.

At Wednesday's Samsung Unpacked event, I found myself screaming so hard into the chasm that Australia texted me to shut up.

You see, I tuned in to Unpacked as soon as I got up. Which was quite a few minutes after it started. (This wasn't an event made for the West Coast.)

Still, I managed to learn that it was time to "truly personalize your watch." This would entail getting a watch, which is not something I can contemplate, given that I gave up on watches when I got a cellphone.

I also learned that my sleep needed to be scored, rather than merely achieved. And that I'd find the way the Samsung Galaxy Watch 3 clicks "very satisfying." Another emotional stretch for me, to be sure.

There was one element, however, that lifted my heart toward the morning clouds and then tossed it to the fish.

After a dynamically charming presenter revealed something that was "just like a little jewelry box," she proceeded to unveil the Samsung Galaxy Buds Live.

Please forgive me, but what sort of people constituted the committee that came up with that name?

A sad lawyer, a troubled nerd and a giddy brewer?

Samsung Galaxy Buds Live sounds like Samsung Galaxy Bud Light. And truly, who's ever going to utter that brand name, sober or otherwise?

Especially as, thanks to a plethora of leaks, many people already know what these things should have been called. Samsung Galaxy Beans.

I'm surely not alone in being desperate for a little more charm in the world. Especially the tech world. I know I'm not alone in noticing that these buds look like very cute beans.

Why not, then, steal the charm for your brand, own the word and make beans seem like the warmest, most embracing, most desirable things in tech?

You'll tell me people are already referring to these lovely little things as the Samsung Galaxy Beans. Soon they'll be saying "Where are my Beans?," "Help, I've lost my Beans!" and "I'm nothing without my Beans."

But wouldn't it have been braver and more glorious for Samsung to have cocked a snook at dull convention, looked out at our disturbed world and its desperate need for joy and simply launched, well, Beans?

Marketing is hard and Samsung has, occasionally, done it very well. But not so much recently.

Here, though, is a product blessed with design thought and the sort of emotional, human taste you used to associate with Apple.

And they called them Samsung Galaxy Buds Live.

First look: Galaxy Buds Live [in pictures]